The Waiting Game

And I thought I was obsessed with my pregnancy before. I mean, I talk about being pregnant more than I talk about pretty much anything else…I read about it…I think about it…I thought I was pretty much maxed out on how much of my time could be spent focused on being pregnant.

Boy, was I wrong.

In the last 4 days, I have thought of NOTHING but this baby. When is she coming? Is she going to come early? What if she’s late? What if she comes while I’m at a school? What if I go into labor in the next five minutes? Was that a kick or a contraction? It didn’t hurt, so it probably wasn’t a labor contraction. But maybe it was. Was it? Should I start timing it just in case it’s leading somewhere? There it goes again. Was that a contraction or was that gas? Should I go to the bathroom? Maybe if I stand up my water will break. Maybe it’s already broken and I just didn’t notice. I should go check. But wait – was that another contraction? Or was that a hiccup? AUGH!!!!

Seriously. That is what goes on in my head 24/7. I wake up a thousand times in the night. I can’t concentrate during the day. I feel like I have nothing to distract myself from these thoughts, and the worst is this: what if she’s late? I mean, this whole countdown thing is the ONLY thing allowing me to retain the 10% sanity I have left – believing that there are theoretically 8 days to go. But what if it’s not 8 days? What if it’s 18?? I might seriously lose my mind.

So for those who read this blog, do me a favor: pray to God, send good vibes, cross your fingers, or do a magic spell so that baby is born no later than November 7th. Because if she comes late, I think my brain might start to leak.