Monday, December 15, 2008

Mr. Pinkeye and other ailments

I just had a bit of inspiration. Through zwaggle.com, an awesome website that I think I've mentioned before (check it out for more information), we obtained a few Dr. Seuss books and an old classic, Mr. Silly. You remember those books, right? The Mr. Men and Little Miss books. Anyway, they're awesome. Well, I don't know if someone has already done this, but I think I would like to author a series of Mr. and Little Miss Ailment books to teach kids about common illnesses. The main character contracts the illness and learns about what causes it, what it feels like, how to treat it, etc. They'd be things like Mr. Common Cold, Little Miss Stomach Flu, and Mr. Pinkeye. I think it's brilliant.

The reason for this inspiration comes from this past week when Romelie was visited by Mr. Pinkeye. That bastard.

It started off as Mr. Common Cold - she had a little cough (still does, sadly), and a runny eye. Unfortunately, two other kids in her daycare were found to have pinkeye, so Jen asked me to bring her to the doctor on Tuesday. Well, it wasn't pinkeye...and to be fair, her eye wasn't actually pink yet. But by Wednesday, the left eye was pink; Thursday morning she woke up with both eyes glued shut; and when the same thing happened on Friday and the right eye was starting to show a little pink, it seemed like she must have gotten it. I called the doctor's office and they didn't make me bring her back in, just prescribed some medicine. So she stayed home from daycare on Friday (and I stayed home from work) and we picked up the prescription from the pharmacy.

First, I must tell you - this is Romelie's SECOND prescription in less than a week. When I brought her to the doctor for her false alarm - well, early alarm - I also took advantage of the fact that we were already there and showed the doctor these weird bumps that have developed on her leg. It started as eczema, then turned into these four weird bumps after Dr. Mitchell recommended treating it with Cortaid. Even after we stopped the Cortaid, the bumps kept getting bigger and purpler and weirder. Apparently it was so odd, the doctor went and got three other doctors to look at it (including Dr. Mitchell, her regular doctor). So anyway, they prescribed this cream which seems to be working really well, but still - her first prescription medicine ever, followed by another one three days later.

But back to the pinkeye. Now, I must preface by saying that Dr. Mitchell is awesome. He got a baby out of me safely and successfully, so I love that man to death. But I owe him a hard time the next time I see him (which will be on Wednesday when Romelie goes back to the doctor for a weight check), because rather than prescribing drops for Romelie's pinkeye, he prescribed a gel. Here's how it works: you pull the lower eyelid down to expose the inside of the lid. You then take 1/2 inch of the gel and wipe it onto the inside of the lid. In both eyes. SIX times a day. Ever tried to poke your finger inside a one year old's eyelids once, let alone six times a day? In both eyes? She's finally gotten used to it and puts up little fuss, but the first 6-7 applications involved me, Chason, and a screaming, screaming kid. It truly sucked for everyone.

Hence my book, Mr. Pinkeye. He has a comically pink eye, prompting the reader to find humor in the situation, and even though he doesn't like wiping gel into his eyeball every 2-1/2 hours, he knows that by doing so, his eye will go back to normal and he'll feel much better. And the one year old reader will think, "Huh. I guess this isn't so bad after all. I mean, if Mr. Pinkeye can deal with it, then gosh darnit, so can I." And the orders will pour in and I'll be a millionare. Everybody wins.

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